Lindsay Lohan sat down and gave an interview with Us Weekly, which is very fitting considering Us Weekly is a second rate magazine compared to PEOPLE and Entertainment Weekly, and LiLo has been downgraded to made-for-Lifetime movies now.
Anyhoo, Blohan is doing rounds of interviews pushing Liz & Dick, which airs Sunday on Lifetime. The entire interview is filled with fuckery of Lohan proportions, which means everything that farted from Lindsay’s collagen pillows was basically a lie or complete fantasy. The most frightening part comes when Lindsay admits to wanting to raise children. My God, save us all.
Here are the highlights:
On threatening a poor, innocent little boy:
“I want to adopt a son.”
On thinking she’s destined to win an Academy Award:
“I’m not focused on that (a relationship) yet. I want to do a ton of movies first. After I win an Oscar, I can start thinking about love. I think there are a lot of directors and producers who know I’m a good actress. I just want them to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable, because I am. I’m going to make them believe in me again.”
On being Liz Taylor:
“Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, ever. I did my time and I respect the law.” (“Bitch, please!” – Everyone reading this article)
And now she’s Marilyn Monroe:
“Marilyn Monroe went to an institution and said, ‘I may not belong here like the world thinks I do, but I might as well take what I can get here and use it and help other people. I think that’s what everyone should take from those experiences.”
What advice would she give herself at 16:
“Don’t drink and drive. And be careful who you surround yourself with.”
The fuck is that last statement? She needed to be told not to drink and drive? This bitch. Also, let’s hope no agency would ever let her adopt. Ever. That includes animal shelters.
Here are pics of LiLo from last night’s premiere of Liz & Dick, in which Blohan’s cheek fillers are in full effect.