Jenelle Evans Can’t Go to Jail Because of Ke$ha

As you may or may not know, the delicate Southern flower and Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans has had some legal trouble the past couple of years likes to smoke the good shit .  While I typically don’t find anything wrong with everyone doing a bit of cheeb now and then, this tends to be problematic if you’re A) busted high while driving and B) you’re busted after taking a piss test for your probation officer.

So because 20-year-old Jenelle was a dumb bitch caught doing both of those things and was given a choice for punishment: continue on with probation for another year or hit the clink for two weeks.  Since Jenelle doesn’t want any more pesky random drug tests getting in the way of her committed relationship with pot, she chose option #2: jail.

Yes.  For real.  Now, here’s where some may say “but what about her baby?! Is she thinking of her baby?” But I’m thinking this kid may be better off for those two weeks.

However, going to jail for 2 weeks is really inconvenient for Jenelle’s schedule.  See, Ke$ha is coming to town and Jenelle has second row tickets (!), and Ke$ha is like Jenelle’s idol and she can’t, just can’t, miss the concert.    So much so that she actually considers taking probation for a year to go to Jenelle (but not, you know, to stay with her kid.  The actual fuck?!)

And it’s shit like this makes me think sometimes, sterilization would be the right choice.  So out your retinas and practice your jack-off hand motion.  The massive amount of eyerolling and faux jerking-off you’re going to do watching this video will cause you to strain a muscle otherwise.

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