What in the Pink-Pocketed Hell is Jessica Biel Wearing?

I was initially drawn into the hotness of Colin Farrell when scouring the images from last night’s Los Angeles premiere of Total Recall, however Jessica Biel quickly derailed that mission when I saw the pale pink Dior Couture nightmare she was wearing.

I’m not sure what look Jess or her stylist were going for here: the 1950′s school dance look? The my-dress-has-boobie-pads-on-the-outside look?  A Bell-shaped silhouette?  Whatever she was going for, it’s not working.  Justin, you need to stop dressing her if this is the result. Because seriously, I can’t with whatever those breast cups thingies are  in the chesticle area.

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