If American Idol doesn’t end after this season, I may storm the studio myself and pull the plug on this shit show.
After the show dumped Steven Tyler and JLo, I had hopes it would actually require people with actual singing ability to come aboard and offer advice to those looking to become the next Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood. And when Mariah Carey signed on, I thought – yes, this is it! Not only do we have an undeniable singing legend in the judge’s seat, but Queen Mimi’s vocal talent is almost eclipsed by her batshit craziness and her uncanny ability to throw the most flawless of shade.
And with legendary Aretha Franklin publicly offering to join the show for a bit, I was giddy with excitement. Queen Mimi and Aretha together ? All that talent? All that bitchiness? Together in one studio?! HELL YEAH, BRING IT ON. American Idol hadn’t seen that much excitement since the early years, when we were all wondering how much medication Paula had taken prior to the broadcast, or if Simon Cuntwell and Ryan Seacrest were finally going to get into that bitchy catfight they’d been promising for seasons!
But no. It wasn’t not meant to be, because Idol can’t let us have nice things, they’ve gone and brought in one of the worst judges I can think of – Nikki Minaj.
According to US Weekly, the deal is all but done:
“I’m not sure the deal is completely done yet, but yes, she is definitely doing it,” one insider reveals. “A few more slight things to sign off on but it is happening.”
A second source says the “Super Bass” rapper, 29, is “100% confirmed to judge American Idol.” Reps for FOX and Minaj had no comment when contacted by Us.
Nick Jonas is also rumored to be in the running as the show’s third judge, a move that would put original Idol judge Randy “Big Log” Jackson into a “mentoring position on the show. (Oh, so they’re going the route of The Voice now…)
Thanks for adding absolutely nothing to the show, Idol. Of course, I would’ve actually been surprised had you done anything otherwise.