Tom Cruise is Still Working Out His Strategy

While I was spending the day vomiting up the red and blue jello shots I overly consumed yesterday, Tommy Girl, his lawyer Bert Fields, and all of $cientology were working in the cult’s war room trying to strategize against their current  enemy number one, Katie (not Kate) Holmes.  Considering Joey Potter is single handedly taking down their “religion,” fighting for sole custody of their Golden Child, Suri, and having the public overwhelmingly declare themselves Team Katie!, this is no laughing matter for them.

However, Katie’s BOSS BITCH moves have completely caught them off guard, as evidenced by the fact that they have no real defense against her amazing offense.  While Katie and America were celebrating their hard fought for independence yesterday, Bert and Tom were trying to figure out just what the hell to do.  Then today, they came up with this weak ass shit.  A “source” tells TMZ:

“She [Katie] was totally committed to Scientology. She had enthusiasm for it and would voluntarily and gladly participate in it when Tom was off shooting movies.”

The source adds, “This is not a fight over religion. It’s being used as a way to hurt Tom.”

And on the subject of hurting Tom, as we first reported, sources connected with the actor tell us Katie’s people have made it difficult for him to speak with Suri by phone, but he’s talked to her every day. He has no immediate plans to see his daughter because he’s leaving today or tomorrow to shoot his new movie in the Rockies.

I know, I know, as soon as you read that you probably had the same reaction I did, which involved some laughing and uttering of the phrase, “bitch, please”  because we know spin when we see it, and this isn’t even good spin.  It’s lame, and it leads me to believe that they really have nothing on Katie and she executed everything quite perfectly.

Especially with this closing comment:

And, as for what Tom’s people say the divorce is really about … they won’t say yet, but tell us it’s coming.

Read:  they’re trying to figure something good out cause they ain’t got shit!

Whatever their story turns out to be – and they will have a story – I’m pretty sure most people won’t buy it.  But either way, stock up on the popcorn.  It’s getting gonna be a hell of a ride.

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