Cry More, John Mayer

In an interview with Rolling Stone, John Mayer has some very unkind words for Taylor Swift and her song, Dear John.

In the song, Tay-Tay calls out John Mayer for his douchebag fuckery with her after a short-lived fling between the two when she was 19 years old.  John would’ve been in his early 30′s at the time.

Let’s take a look at some of Dear John’s lyrics:

Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young
To be played by your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so, I should’ve known.

Mayer has finally spoken up about Dear John, telling RS the song “humiliated” him.

It made me feel terrible,” Mayer says in the new issue of Rolling Stone, on newsstands Friday. “Because I didn’t deserve it. I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do.”

“I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call,” he says. “I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I’d already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you’ve ever been, someone kicked you even lower?” When asked about the song’s line, “Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?” Mayer says, “I don’t want to go into that.”

He also thinks the song is an example of shitty and lazy songwriting:

“I will say as a songwriter that I think it’s kind of cheap songwriting,” he says. “I know she’s the biggest thing in the world, and I’m not trying to sink anybody’s ship, but I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, ‘Wait till he gets a load of this!’ That’s bullshit.”

To all this, I say: are you fucking kidding me? Mayer, the Turd King of overshare and talking shit about his famous exes?

Let’s just do a quick bullet point list of some of the verbal diarrhea that has spewed from John Mayer’s pie hole, shall we?

  • WroteYour Body is a Wonderland” about Jennifer Love Hewitt.  While I admit this is not really a dick move, I think of JLH  every time the local lite FM station plays that GD song. The song is already shitty, and knowing it’s about her tits is fucking unacceptable.
  • On why his condoms should be made in the shape of a KKK hat:  ”My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”
  • On his relationship with Chestica Simpson: “That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm…There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.” - WTF is this even? He must’ve been high as a kite…
  • On his break up with Jen Aniston, and being a Twat with Twitter: “One of the most significant differences between us was that I was tweeting. There was a rumor that I had been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn’t it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, “These are the new rules.”

The primary ingredients for Summer’s Eve is vinegar and the words that come out of John Mayer’s mouth, so for this whiny bitch to get upset because the tables were finally turned and he was publicly called out for being a bag of dicks?  Well, pardon me if I don’t shed you a solitary tear for having your fee-fees hurt, John. I may not be a T-Swift fan, but you totally deserved your comeuppance.


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