Well, this is almost the fucking strangest thing I’ve read today. I say “almost ” because I just wrote about a 51-year-old Linda Hogan look-a-like who wants her 15-year-old daughter to have Botox, and I just read the details of Roy Horn
ay (Yes the Roy of Sigfried & Roy) sexually assaulting his caretakers by tickling their taint.
Anywhoo, Vulture has given us an insight of what to expect from The Paperboy, which stars Nicole Kidman, Matthew McConaughey, John Cusack and Zac Efron. I’d go into what the entire plot of the movie is about, but honestly, after reading what Vulture wrote about it, I don’t care. Perhaps Nicole’s overly Botoxed face is now past the point of actual emoting, and director Lee Daniels (of Precious fame) thought she was better at telling the story with her nether-lips. Or perhaps it was an homage to the now-defunct relationship to Ray J and Kim Kartrashian. Who knows, but either way, we get some golden shower goodness from Nicole and Zac. Vulture describes it:
….nothing [at Cannes] will ever top the scene from the new Lee Daniels–directed film The Paperboy where Nicole Kidman looms over a supine Zac Efron, cries out, “If anyone’s gonna pee on him, it’s gonna be me,” and then squirts an impressive stream of urine onto the High School Musical star’s face and bare chest.
Further down in the article, they add:
Later in the movie, as Efron’s romantic ardor for Kidman is at its peak, the two head to the beach, where he decides to cool down with a dip in the ocean. Naturally, he is attacked by CG jellyfish. (Only the sixteenth weirdest thing to happen in this movie.) Covered in sting marks, he barely manages to drag himself to shore, and when Kidman is alerted to the attack by some comely girls who surround Efron, she pushes them away, pops a squat, and out comes number-one. And yes, you get a close-up of the stream. This is a movie that often seems to be missing important transitional scenes or specific inserts, but you had better believe that when Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron, that camera is there.
I think I’ll be a
piss pass on seeing this, thank you very much.
Anywhoo, here is Nicole, John, Zac and Matthew at Cannes on Wednesday: